ABOUT MY OWN EXPECTATIONS.
I am going to be honest with you guys because I have had a shift in my Persona in the last couple of weeks.
I have become much more aware of my role as TP (me) in my role as a guardian of the process of my recovery. This has helped me to realise that before my recovery kicked in I was sober but still not taking any responsibility for my own behaviour, unacceptable over-reactive nasty stuff.
Of course, I am in a much better place currently, but the guardian is no different in me but the emotions in the guardian are very different.
Help has been in abundance from outside, people have made a huge difference as soon as I asked for help. You open up to AA for instance and you have a common objective plus experience, it is much easier to learn to drive with a good instructor.
This has made me more appreciative of who I truly am as a symbolic being acting out what is just a pleasant life. My recovery is very much an ongoing situation, not chaotic but still in need of awareness and self-care. The expectation factor is difficult to describe mainly because in my mind’s eye I have at this moment got far more than I ever thought possible.
There is a technique in NLP that’s called timeline which is theoretically your lifeline, you move up or down your line, but you always come back to now where you are. I hated being in the now but with the power of imagination, my feelings of those bad times have changed and my new understanding of the environment we are raised in is the cause of much contradiction in people’s lives.
For me, this is the time of my life to make a difference in helping others with any addiction there is a real tangible feeling of joy in the AA rooms when anyone has good news, heart-warming!
UNLOCKING AN OPEN DOOR…
Sounds very simple but not very logical, this was very frustrating simply because it is undoing something we don’t consider as closed.
In my case, I thought all my problems were external, so this was the cause of my inner chaos. Again, I have been able to re-live my past with a clear and compassionate mind and discovered the simple truth, you need to feel the truth, no matter how clever you think you may be.
Intellect is absolutely no marker for the mystery of the instinctive mind, not yet understood by science. My recovery is my own work in progress but the tools I use were tools given to me then adapted as transferable skills to pass on.
I may sound as though I had things very organized, my life was utterly miserable and very much trial and error. Opening up to your own soul which you may prefer a higher power of your choice, AA will help you understand this process, they have some excellent instructors.
The place to start is undoubtedly learning about your own physiology, how you feel and why you feel that way.
I am a trained Hypnotherapist so I will teach how incredibly easy it is to use self-Hypnosis once you have been guided.
This was a game-changer in my case, it brought my meditation to much higher intensity and my imagination was becoming fertile with colours and some peace. Finding a pocket of peace back in the constant malady was much appreciated.
I have learned a great deal about myself in recovery, my intentions now are to use this to help the still-suffering addict. You are open to suffering, create the conditions and you will be open to peace. Theoretically it is that simple.
SIMPLICITY IS LOST IN TRANSLATION…
Simplicity is an insult to an egoic mind, my ego would be insulted because my symptoms were far too serious to be simple, I am using myself as an example, but it is human behaviour.
Solutions are simple to understand and simple to put into practice and they work, my problem was that I was far too clever for all that shit! until I became aware of my truth. Our collective truth is different from our unique personal truth, my personal truth, I was the cause of my suffering. When I got a pebble in my shoe I had the attitude of a man who was not ready to stop and used that pebble to allow.
I did not appreciate this at the time, but my last drink was my last, I had the gift of hope. So I still get the odd pebble in my metaphoric shoe but I can just sort it, we use our personal truth to compare ourselves to others allowing a contradictory mind.
The heart-mind is the solution, not the physical heart but the real meaningful heart, symbolic of pure love with no attachment, the peace it creates in you and around you.
The importance of belief system is vital in recovery and you recover daily with the guidance of your belief, the higher power of your choice. Detox is a very short period and it can vary in individuals, do not study detox just do it, once it is over you do not have to do it again ever.
I have learned the hard way due to ignorance not due to being weak or stupid or bad, pay a visit to AA you will wonder what all the fuss was about, I enjoy the meetings because I have friends there and I only know them by Christian names, some even give you a hug, very pleasant.