My Alcoholism was the problem, as ‘ism’ is the ‘doing’ – the devastating chain of actions and reactions catalysed by drink.
That may seem obvious to you right now, but in the haze of alcoholism the obvious is not apparent – you can spend too much time telling yourself you’re very ill, which is effectively anchoring yourself to acting out the alcoholic role.
Things started to change for the better in my life as soon as I concentrated on solutions instead of problems. I had 30 years as an alcoholic and probably the last 5 years of that period was spent in prison or homeless.
I’ll be completely candid and tell you how events unfolded in my sometimes unbelievable account of recovery, because being transparent and authentic is the best way to build trust.
I am a a practicing Buddhist and meditate regularly. Although I’m not a religious person, I will speak frequently about the benefits of a higher power. Finding a firm foundation is the starting point, the base camp for your journey forward if you like – this is somewhere that you feel safe with just yourself.
In the past, I had that first drink over something very juvenile and that decision has spiralled into a horrendous drinking episode, so having a place or safe space to go to when you feel vulnerable is vital.

Survival toolboxes
To free yourself from the shackles of any type of addiction, you develop a toolbox of techniques and tactics that experience constantly expands. For instance, I read a lot of Buddhist texts because it’s the simplest way to live – in my view, nothing is contradictory in the ultimate truth.
And reading these simple stories is actually a fun way to learn that reality is very simple, not scary. At the end of these analogies, the teacher will say ‘now just imagine that…’. This instruction used to bug me, until I realised that the imagination is everything – in fact, even the imagination itself is an imagined construct!
You will pick some useful tips up from this page, but for them to really make a difference, you need to put them into practice. My tip for overcoming procrastination and executing positive actions is to use very little articulate thinking. Instead, try intuitive thinking, because the former is of the mind whereas the latter is of the heart. Thinking with the heart is following unconscious instinct – this is a truth that isn’t always pleasant but is paramount.

Substance over style
The substance of what I put on this page is more important than my presentation style – that is a truth in itself. And this website is yours as well as mine – I’m still in recovery and having a drink would be insanity, so my battle is perpetual and with alcoholism you are on or off – there’s no halfway house.
Life has to be lived forwards but can only be understood backwards, so in the last 12 months hindsight has taught me to recognize how and why things have changed and, more importantly, the truth about the ‘ism’. The instant I heard a guy at AA meeting describe his strategy of dealing with the solution not the problem, this was a trigger – those simple words convinced me that he was genuine.

For the first time ever I started to associate my alcoholism with me – as a living, breathing entity. I took ownership of it and accepted that it was completely my own doing. I didn’t beat myself up about it, but instead realised that it was a solution that could sharpen my human sensibilities.
I started to become more aware of feelings and I used to get emotional at AA meetings when people were talking about love and sadness. Anger was also a big problem and I realised that the poison triggered rage – chemical imbalance is responsible for nebulous negative feelings being part of your mental continuum. On the other hand, positive thought will create a clarity you may have felt before without realising how you achieved it – this is your natural balanced state.
Alcoholism is very scary to the sufferer, but you can get pissed to escape the fear. And I admit that I wasn’t simply selfish to my victims, but I was heartless too – if I want to stay in sobriety I have to forgive myself and the people who I once thought had wronged me. This part of my recovery was vital knowledge garnered from a module in my hypnotherapy course.

Coming to positive terms with the past
In time, I realised that many people struggle with the harmful after-effects of the environments they grow up in, and on that basis I actually forgave people from my past in an instant. For example, I suffered a lot of physical violence but I shared this experience with others in my childhood community and I was a bit of a rogue myself, regularly being punished for getting into trouble. These characteristics of a hard-knock life were accepted by everyone involved, so I’m sure that the self-pity didn’t manifest until later in life when it suited my needs.
I have been in AA for 5 years now and it saved my life.
On my first visit to AA I hadn’t had a drink for 11 months but I was in a real bad way – my head felt like it was on fire and suicide was a better option to hurting someone else, but somehow I got to a meeting.
During that meeting, when I heard people talking openly about emotions, I’m glad no one spoke to me because I had a lump in my throat ready to pop. Going to AA has led me to my own recovery path but this was not a conscious decision – I just followed unconscious instinct. When you’re not following instructions but acting according to a powerful instinct, this equates to your true belief – you know that you’re doing the right thing and no conscious thought is required.
Imagination and feelings are pure instinct. In NLP this is a technique which explains how the conscious mind distorts the underlying truth that’s generated by the unconscious mind. If your conscious mind is distorting the truth, a battle with your unconscious mind ensues and therein lie the seeds of internal conflict.

Key takeaways
Love and Compassion are perfect allies and the practical philosophy that has worked for me is practicing simple meditation with patience – one of my main recommendations for anyone fighting a similar battle would be finding their nearest meditation centre and seeking expert help to tap into this transformative energy.
But my main recommendations for anyone with a similar affliction are following the first three steps of AA – you’ll find them below.